Sweet Fellar 1994-2013

We lost our sweet Fellar on Thursday. He was 18 and we knew it was coming. Losing him has been one of the single hardest things in our lives. He was extra special and our hearts are broken and we are missing him beyond reason. My heart feels like it has been yanked out of my body and my brain is sending me constant feelings of pain. I miss him. I am lonely. I WANT him back.

This kitty was different than all the rest we have had. We have loved every single one of our cats and mourned every single one. They all have held our hearts and souls and losing each has been a journey of memories and having to endure the loss of someone you love with all your being.

Fellar came to us a little stray about 8 months old. I already had a house full of cats and did not intend to adopt another. He appeared in our yard and the minute I walked out the door he meowed and followed me around everywhere I went. I would walk in circles and he would follow me over and over. He meowed and meowed to let me know he wanted to adopt me!  Upon petting and observing him he appeared to have been mistreated so we took him to the vet. The vet’s office told us how very sociable and sweet he was so we brought him to his forever home. He joined our family and was so happy to be friends with all the other kitties. He was very easy going and loved all our animals. He found his special spot and for 18 years he shared my pillow every single night. One by one our kitties aged and we lost them until only Fellar was left. The last three years he had just us. He was a house kitty so he was with us no matter where we were. He was our constant friend. He was the kiddos best friend. Our friends loved him. He made sure that everyone knew he was around and made sure to get loving from every single person. Our vets office loved him too and when he went to board he would get to just hang out with the vet and staff. He demanded everyone’s love there also…

Loving Fellar for 18 years certainly made my life better. You have never loved until you have loved a pet. They demand nothing, but love. They never tire of you, never get mad and never run out of affection. My brain and common sense tell me that his time had come, but my heart wishes he could have lived forever. I feel more empty than ever before and this loss has hit me hard. It is going to be a long time before I am normal again. One little black ball of fur has taken my heart with him. The pain is intense and constant. I know my heart will mend, but this one is going to take awhile.

So good-by my little honey boy. I will miss and think of you every single day. My heart will eventually mend and I know I will eventually be happy again. Just know you were not simply a pet to me, but you were a treasured furry friend that helped make my life a happy one. I know you loved us with all your being. We loved you with all our being. I am not sure the tears will ever go away. I love you to the moon and back.

We hope you are now with all your kitty friends enjoying the Rainbow Bridge… we miss you sweetness.



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  1. i’m so sorry for your loss. my good ol’ girls (both black cats as well) departed after 18 and almost 20 years respectively. i couldnt breath for a week after my first beloved friend died – it wasnt easier when her sister left either. no trite saying here, all i can do is acknowledging your pain. i’m sending you hugs.

  2. i just noticed that we were on each other’s comments at the same time – more hugs. my heart must be hearing yours!

  3. My heart goes out to you! Furry sons enter into our lives and leave huge imprints upon our hearts.

  4. Ron CROCKER says

    We hurt along with you. We lost out Sissy about this time last year after almost 20 years and know how you feel. Family is family whether animal or human.

  5. I’m so sorry for your loss. I can just tell from your words, you’re devastated. I wish your Fellar was still with you, I wish they would all live forever! Sending my sympathy…♥

    • weekendcowgirl says

      Such kind words are such a help. Very, very, very sad, but know time will heal and the blessings of others also help…

  6. Awe! I’m so sorry for your loss 🙁 I have had a similar experience. My cat growing up’s name was socks. We got her when I was two and she lived until I was 18. I never knew life without her and it was a really sad time after she passed. ((((hugs))))

    I’m so glad I had her in my life though.

  7. oh stopping by from Mamakat.

  8. Oh, my heart hurts for you, friend. I’m so sorry. We lost our sweet Polly in January, and I am still sometimes surprised to come home and find that she is not here. Thinking of you!

  9. So sorry for your loss…it is sad to lose a pet. Amazing how much they become part of the family. We have three cats – all black – and I can’t imagine what the house would be like without them.

  10. Wow, 18 years. Fellar was lucky to have you in his life & vice versa. Sorry for your loss.

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